Marriage, in very simple terms can be defined as social union or a contract between two individuals. There are various typologies of marriage, but my focus here shall not be on those but rather on a very interesting system of marriage which is prevalent among the Mising tribes of Assam (India).

India is mostly known for its concept of arranged marriage where some other persons, other than the couple to be wedded, mostly parents or relatives decide for the bride or the groom. But the Misings have very silently held on to a very old tradition. The Misings are the second largest tribe of Assam and are referred to as ‘Miri’ in the constitution of India to which the modern day Misings takes offence. The Misings live on the river banks and reside in districts of Dhemaji, Lakhimpur, Sonitpur, Tezpur, Dibrugarh, Golaghat, Jorhat and Tinsukia of Assam. Agriculture and fishing are the major occupations of the Misings. Most of the population lives in abject poverty and the Mising villages are ravaged by floods every year. They live in ‘Chang Ghar’, a house which is built on stilted bamboo poles and are raised from the ground. It is believed that this housing style was developed by the Misings as a defense- mechanism for the floods.

The Misings are divided into two clans. Marriage within the clan is forbidden among the Misings. Flirting and suggestive measures between two people within the clan is strictly forbidden and is seen as a big offence but marriages between cross-cousins are allowed. Though there are different types of marriage among the Misings too, the focus here shall be on one system- ‘Marriage by Eloping’. Marriage by eloping is completely legal and has the sanctification of the community. In fact it is the most prevalent system of marriage in the community. Where else can you imagine that…..?????

The Misings are comparatively a liberal community in Assam, when it comes to courtships. Thus, after a relationship when the boy and girl decides to get married, most of the times it’s ‘Eloping’ which they choose. On a fixed date, the boy awaits for the girl at a definite place which is negotiated earlier on. Most of the times, the girl leaves the house on the pretext of going to visit a friend, or just going to some neighbour’s house. (My sister said she was going to the market and never came back…!). Most of the times, this is done with the help of some friends. The friends of the girl make sure that ‘the bride’ reaches the pre-decided spot safely and from there on the task is left to the groom and his friends. The bride also carries a big sack of clothes which she has herself woven for her use at her in-laws. Sometimes, the eloping couple is also chased by the family members of the bride who of course makes it more interesting and adventurous. These days the couples take the car or an auto rickshaw but in the olden days they use to run barefoot. And most of the times they use to take the jungle route to escape the eyes of the followers (Chasers).

As soon the news is received in the family, the elderly member of the groom‘s family (Usually the maternal uncle) goes and informs the bride‘s parents. They inform the bride’s family that their daughter has been brought by their relative and request them to accept the Tupula (consists of betel leaves and nut and some cash as a token). The acceptance of the Tupula by the father of the bride means approval of the marriage. After the acceptance of the bride’s family a brief ceremony is held in the groom’s family. The youth of the village gather together and make merry, sing songs and dances to the beat of the drums and to the tunes of the folk songs. Amidst this merriment the bride is welcomed to the family and as soon she sets her first step of the Chang ghar, she is socially accepted as the legally wedded wife of the groom. The couple also bow before the youth and the elderly who gathers at the ceremony to receive blessings from the community.

A simple and brief system without any big rituals but with lot of romanticism and adventure, this system of marriage has survived years and years without any major changes. The above mention system has little complications and is very beautiful. I belong to the same tribe and find this system of marriage very romantic and adventurous and strongly carry the urge to elope with my girlfriend. I hope my girlfriend agrees to the same.

13 Replies

  1. I am from the the same caste, i don,t think that anybody should enjoy after reading this article, As the writer belong the tribal area he should teach that how Misings are social worker, we like to help each other which Mising ( We) are doing today.

    You should do something which you can do for your friends,family for India which Mising is doing. I hope its not a enjoyable article its make us ( proud to be a Mising).

    Now Mising develop in many stage. The Mising is second higher educated tribe in India. I think writer should mention this thing also. now all Mising are not living near riverbank side, In the state of Assam every year a Mising is selected as a minister. But they are not doing anything for mising that is difference thing.

    hope all mising will help is other till they can do and Mising literature will increasing day by day. Mising rengam Erroi.

  2. @Dalim: Nice to see your response. But this article is not to focus on how Misings are doing good or to praise ourselves. It just focuses on the ‘Dugla Lanam’ phenomenon of marriage among the Misings. Anyway thanks a lot for the same. Keep following this link and more blogs shall come…

  3. bro, you have not included the other forms .like in early days ther was a system of {(ye’:la lanam) mising word} where the man can have a wife of their own choice.can marry a girl with physical force…..

  4. Wonderful tradition. I was in South of India (Bangalore City) for few months and I got a chance to attain a marriage. I was very surprised to know that the bride and groom met once only and they told me that the parents had arrange the marriage. It was very difficult to understant that culture. I liked and found the marriage of Mising tribe very interesting. I guess Mising Tribes are Indian only. Any time I prefer Mising marriage than the one which I attaid in Bangalore (South of India).

  5. hey nice 2 read bout it again….it took me 2 a nostalgic trip…i wz involvd in one such incidnt…actually 4 my uncle(my dads youngest bro)…i had gone wd job wz 2 get d car n bring it near 2 d girls(nw my aunt)house..wn i got d car n saw d girl my heart wz beatng at such a rate dt i felt it will pop out…wz scard dt smeone 4m d girls nfamily might see us…nd if dt hd hapnd u cn very well imagine d beatng we wd hve got….newys evrythng went off well n nw dey r happily marrid wd 2 lovely kids…mising tradition erroi…

  6. wonderful page. Good info congrats. This is one the best Reviews and advice I have seen this year to get the best info and brokers on seo click on the link

  7. This article reminds me of my parents because they were among those Mising people who followed the pure Mising tradition in the time of their marriage..excellent piece of work n i just love it…

  8. An interesting read. Manoranjan! how about doing an ethnographic study of your tribe? I guess you can think about it as your topic for Ph D as well. 🙂

  9. hi..
    thanks fr such a good article. it was great to read and enjoy the beautiful story.
    i am a student at Film and Television Institute of India, pune and was
    actually making a project on the traditions of marriage in mising culture in assam..
    And believe me google doesn’t have all the answers..
    Can u plz help me with my project….
    i am sure it will not take much of ur time..

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *